The god fearing atheist

I’m not usually someone who contests the presence of the divine power but I do find myself erroneously questioning his existence at times.
‘Things happen for a reason. Have faith in god. Whatever happens, is for the best’ this is what most of us believe in until that fine day...

Happy times always remind me of god, I never forget to thank him. But when in distress I feel deserted, I scream out, but in vain, feeling much like the step child. When in joy most of us are believers, then why does heartache make us question his very decisions?

I knew a friend with an ailing mother. In spite of being thankful for every passing moment that god spared, deep down he felt it was him against god. ‘I won’t let him win that easy’ he always said. He turned a non- believer a few months later.

I thank god for a loving family but how do you explain the reason behind the untimely death of a 20 yr old to his grieving parents? Or vice versa? Is it to help them become stronger?
I thank god for love. But what good is it if I’ve loved and lost. Is it better than to not have loved at all? To experience the companionship of another soul and then the emptiness with its parting away? Is there a reason behind it?

I recently read the case of Josef Fritzel who fathered 7 children with his first born and then locked them in a dark cellar. A sordid case of incest which makes my intestines churn and leaves me gasping for breath in disbelief. I’d like to sit back and watch someone tell them with a straight face, to have faith in god and the fact that whatever has happened to them in the last 20 years is for the best.

Why does he do this? Play favorites. Some justify it as bad karma from your past life. But what about those that don’t faith in rebirth?
A victim of abuse, rape or murder, will they find solace knowing they’ve served term for bad karma from their past life and can now look fwd to a blissful rebirth with a clean score sheet?


You live only once. And its now. Many great philosophers have discoursed. If you live only once, then what about those who live each day as a punishment? Why has god then not planned an unbiased subsistence on earth for all, as a prelude to the pearly gates? Has he not created us all? Can he hate any one of us?

Can a mother give birth and also mastermind grievances in her childs path with such finesse?

If he paints landscapes on his canvas, then why does he also provide for its destruction? What good has ever come out of war, widows and orphans? Does he play between being the planner & the destroyer merely to amuse himself?