Item Number: The confidence dilemma

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The confidence dilemma

Yesterday as young colleague, mid thirties (that’s pretty young with the average life expectancy going up to 81 ) stepped into my office, she reminded me of a child. A child looking over her shoulder, to ensure she’s soft enough for my ears only. A child who’d make you ‘cross your heart & hope to die’, whose eyes would twinkle yet hesitate, not sure if you are one to keep ‘scouts honor’. But after a painful pause would finally divulge.

Recommended by a friend, she’d registered on a social network called Table4six. At table4six they organize dinners for six, as well as other social occasions that they refer to as ‘events’

‘It’s not a dating forum’ she felt obligated to clarify. ‘It’s an opportunity to meet a new group of friends.’ Basically it winds down to, if you don’t have a husband/ boyfriend/dog/cat/ imaginary friend Bob to go home to every night and your ‘socialness’ ends where the rim of your office desk begins, then where do you meet all these interesting people?

Definitely not at table4six as she later found out.

“Want to boost your social life and meet fun like minded people? Kick start your social life while enjoying some of the best restaurants and experiencing some of the finest venues, in and around Dubai....Table4six a great way to meet new friends” – the website proudly claims.

The network is amicably forceful. I use that phrase simply because once you confirm your presence for a social do you’re ‘not allowed’ to back out.

It’s not to like she was looking for a bloke to get hitched to on this particular evening. Even getting to know a fun bunch’o girls for a night at the bar or an evening at the spa, would have termed this event successful.

But, what then was making her uneasy? Ah! It was the ‘F’ word. ‘favorable’ reception or acceptance. ‘What if I don’t meet anyone interesting, what if I get stuck with someone boring, what if I bump into somebody I know..it’ll be embarrassing. I’m going to dinner with a bunch of strangers!’

In my mind this was just absurd. She’s pretty, has a whacky sense of humor, and speaks the queens English, then why would nervousness find a home here?
I would be able to identify with some of those feelings perhaps, but surely not her... It’s strange how you look up to some people for their panache, buoyancy, loquaciousness…not realizing that the prom queen is pretty much like you, you just choose not to see it.

1 comment:

GargoyleJune 3, 2008 at 3:35 AM
Good one, Extra No. 1! Tell the colleague to smile at the cute bartender instead.
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

About Me

Ok, so I’m 5ft 9, about 139 pounds, big greenish brown eyes, long curvy lashes, a curvier body, soft curly hair and an electrifying smile. This impression exists in my head…and now in yours.

It’s not because what I look like makes me uneasy, but this is the number that I’d like to turn up in, someday.

Hence, the ‘Item Number’. A lot many maybe familiar with the term and all that it implies but for the ignorant read on…

I’ve always associated myself with the term ‘Item Number’ which however until recently was a phrase loosely used in Bollywood to describe a filler, a foreplay before the formidable act, a thesaurus for sleazy dance, an excuse for skin show (not always attractive).

All that is now the past. With cinemas growing sensibilities, the stigma attached to the phrase no longer exists and in fact, is now glorified by a list of A grade celebrities gracing the screen with their special performance, adding glam value to an otherwise submissive script.

However in spite of the recent but growing respect, the meaning of the phrase ‘Item Number’ has never changed for me. An item number is an exhibit out of the ordinary plot line, sometimes provocative yet necessary, it sometimes lends itself to the situation but other times it’s forced. It’s long enough to make you smile, but short enough leaving you longing for more. Sometimes special. Sometimes over the top. But never subtle.

I believe, if we search deep inside, we all yearn to be an item number (yes even you!)

It’s the longing to be special. To be provocative. To be able to tease ones boundaries. To be different. To be the one. To make people sit up and notice.

If only for an hour, if only for a minute or even a second.

When you hear the crowds cheer (even if it’s just in your head), respond to every appreciative/envious glare with a radiating smile from within, when you know the stars are shinning in this moment, only to make you look brighter, and you almost throw your hands up to the universe miming a big ‘Thank You’ that’s when you know you’re an Item Number.