A girl child - will it ever be a reason to celebrate?

A week after one of the most heinous crimes shook up not just the capital but entire India, the 6 accused have been arrested but 23 year old Damini, is still critical.
While there’s 24/7 coverage of the youth uproar, Baba Ramdev’s lashout against Congress, every politician trying to turn this into a government toppling event, and monitoring the progress of the ‘delhi girl gangrape’, she still remains a John Doe for many. People find it easier referring to her by the unthinkable that she was subjected to rather than her name. So for starters she is DAMINI.

It’s unfortunate that an incident like this had to happen for politicians to ‘agree’ that something must be done about women’s safety in this country. It’s unfortunate that ever since that fateful Sunday, inspite of the nation seething with disgust, wide spread awareness on woman safety, pressure on the government and police for protection,there is still news of at least one woman still being raped every day in Delhi and Bombay.
What are these creatures? Even animals only resort to this kind of brutality for survival or in defense.

Has Damini become a national issue cause she got raped and savagely beaten up along with her friend, before getting thrown out of a moving bus? Or is it because 6 men after raping and beating her up with an iron rod then stuffed the rod into her vagina, damaged her intestines and pulled out her uterus, having rendered her now to the mercy of intravenous fluids for the rest of her life?

The whole nation is praying for her survival. I find that the most ironical. Bed ridden for life, intravenous fluids as only mode of survival, vital body parts being replaced by mental, emotional and physical scars. Euthanasia too will be denied. Tomorrow she will be just news.

Introduce capital punishment against rape. So if Damini wasn’t raped, but an iron rod was still stuffed up her vagina disabling her for life, would the punishment that we’re all demanding be a little less severe? Would it then just be attempt to murder or an assault, because the Indian rape law does not address a woman’s vagina being intruded by a foreign object other than a penis without her consent as ‘rape’. Also acid attacks, slashing of the face with knife, the kicking and beating, the lewd and obscene comments and humiliation, many times killing of their male companions? Do these warrant similar indignity and invoke the wrath of the public to demand death penalty for all of them?

Will capital punishment for rape now mean that the assaulter hence forth ensures that they kill their victims, cause getting caught would only mean death. Whose would they choose?

21st Dec 2012 Bombay – 20 yr old woman from Nepal (name withheld) arrives in Bombay looking for her husband who had been evading her for the fear of paying compensation. After reaching the workshop he claimed to work at, she gets raped by the workshops owner, then by another employee of the workshop who picked her up at a garden she was dropped at by the owner, then repeatedly by a relatives friend who had been sent by the relative to rescue her. All of this in one day, for a husband who lied and never left Nepal in the first place. If capital punishment was in order, would the tormentor have dropped her off at a garden after committing a heinous crime? Or to protect himself, he would've committed a bigger one, murder? Or would he have feared the law and not raped her in the first place?

Hang until death, is just making it too easy for them. Will castrating help? Or will the frustration of not being able to exercise manhood and societal disgrace only create bigger monsters?

Today, I will be scared bringing a girl child into this world. Cause what the world has come to, she’d be unsafe from the age of 6 to 70. Today a woman has to be protected from a father, an uncle, a rejected lover, neighbors, relatives, professors, public transports, employers, fellow collegians, buildings watchmen, a thief breaking into your house. I fail to chalk out one place, just one, any one, where she could possibly be safe.
I would also worry bringing a male child into this world, for fear that god forbid tomorrow if he tries to save a sister, fiancé, mother or any other woman, he too will not be spared.

I strongly believe each man who dares to ever challenge another human being’s safety in any form should be subjected to the same treatment and publicly in addition to serving any form of legal sentence.
So capital punishment or not an acid attack should be paid back by an acid attack. Stuffing a rod in someone’s genitals should be paid back in the same fashion. If a man rapes a woman, his ass should also be served on a platter to any happy takers and publicly- to hell with you human rights! Cause man only fears the worst, when it happens to him.

Talaash

As screeching tyres jolt a dead night back to life, a lone car sharply swerves right, off the road, ramming through the marine drive promenade and plunges into the darkness of the sea.

Inspector Surjan Singh Shekhawat(Aamir) is assigned to investigate if this was a freak accident or does it reek of foul play, purely because it mirror reflects two previous accidents which inexplicably took place at the same spot. With speed, intoxication, technical failures ruled out, what could have caused the drive home to turn into a funeral?

In the course of his investigation Surjan meets a sex worker Rosie who lures him deeper into the mystery of the dead body unfolding various incidents connected to the crime. Surjan Shekhawat’s tormented past makes him an intense loner and he finds solace from his failing marriage and the darkness within him in Rosie’s shadowy but mystical presence.

The story and direction is mind engaging in parts, especially pre interval. However the latter half gets caught up in being descriptive and unnecessarily over dramatic.
Zoya and Katgi have used their creative license card a little too many times during their narration.
M Night Shyamalan, in Sixth Sense very intelligently and realistically, without drawing attention to Bruce Will’s character, had managed to weave a story around him and make him believable. Zoya/ Katgi are clearly torn between narrating a story and adding masala to appease the Bollywood palette. If Kareena’s soul is trapped in the in-between space waiting for vengeance, then adding emotions like spunk, sensuousness and romance purely to build drama between Surjan and Rosie is nothing but misleading.

The cinematography of the opening sequences along with the title track ‘Muskaan jhooti hai’ establishes a sense of solitude even amongst the glitz and glamour of the ostracized world. Unfortunately the rest of the film is devoid of any further visual stimulation. The scene where various if’s and maybe’s play out in Surjan’s head as a possibility of having averted a life changing disaster, is interestingly played out.

Ram Sampath’s audio score is relieving on the senses .‘Jiya lage na’ and ‘Je le zara’ are my personal fav’s.

What starts off as a promise of being a gripping thriller ends up only in as a Talaash for one.

Barfi!

Yes so it’s inspired and does not deserve to go to the Oscars. Yes, it is a bit shameful on the directors part but at the end of the day Anurag Basu reached out to my mother, my neighbors’ granny and to a million others in a way in which Charlie Chaplin, and The Notebook did not!
While Barfi’s periphery was inspired, let’s not take away from the fact that the core, the story about Barfi, Jhilmil and Shruti was original, heartwarming and honestly portrayed without which, even editing a bunch of dvd’s together would not have worked.

If Ready, Wanted and Rowdy can proudly do a 100 crore plus business then what are we angry about? About the fact that Anurag Basu did not openly give credit or the fact that we expected more from him? Isn’t the panel that chose this film to be sent as India's official entry for the Best Foreign Language Film nomination for the 85th Academy Awards in February 2013, then equally redundant?

Barfi’s (Ranbir Kapoor )spirit is as fresh as the winds of Darjeeling, the twinkle in his eyes are as bright as the clear skies; his smile is as electrifying as the steam engine that run through the winding roads. Being mute and deaf is not his disadvantage, but a privilege to flamboyancy.Shruti(Ileana D'Cruz) while visiting Darjeeling with her family falls in love with Barfi and his world. Jhilmul (Priyanka Chopra) is an autistic child whose family due to social stigma give her up to a special care center. Barfi is about how their perception of life ends up defining their love.
It is also about reinstating that Ranbir Kapoor truly is a Prithviraj! That Priyanka Chopra when paired with a DIRECTOR can perform, that you don’t need loud music and a hundred other things to accentuate emotions… silently.

Barfi’s music is a bouquet stirring emotions. 'Main kya karun' is a melodious track which makes you fall in love with love. Where 'Itti si haansi, itti si khushi, itta sa tukda chand ka' makes me feel content with life, 'Phir le aya Dil' reminds me parts that I’ve left behind.'Kyon' makes me want to hold someone's lil finger and stare at the sun with my eyes shut :)

Anurag Basu definitely deserves credit for giving us some beautiful moments like when Barfi makes fire flies float in soap bubbles, the cinematographer S Ravi Varman has made it mesmerizing by shooting it from jhilmil’s viewpoint…When Barfi covers up Jhilmil’s legs with her skirt and offers a lecher his legs to stare at instead…There’s a scene in particular when as a last resort Barfi goes looking for Jhilmil in the autistic centre. She’s in hiding, unsure of her feelings. Dejected on losing her again, he turns away, seeing him walk away she starts calling out to him - but he can’t hear her. The only other person who can is Shruti, as she’s walking away with Barfi and hearing Jhilmil call out, she has to make a choice in that moment - to walk away pretending she heard nothing and live with Barfi, the love of her life, or to acknowledge the scream and have him turn back to Jhilmil the love of his life. This for me was the ‘Ah!’ moment of the film and I assure you a guaranteed tear jerker for many machos I sat amongst.

To make the experience a little distractive, I wish as a director Basu had also paid attention to other minor details like hair and make up, the wig, it’s net at times were engaged in a dialogue independent of the scene! The flashback voice over was so nonchalant that many a times, the emotion escaped me.

There is one thing that that I strongly disagree with, Anurag’s claim of unedifying love. Looking back, when Shruti reasons that she weighed her love against life, while Jhilmil accepted love in that moment and for all its purity -that is what love is about. I do not agree. Jhilmil did not have the ability of deciding with all sensibility, to understand life, it's implications or the complications. Had the comparison been between two women at par and then one choose being in the moment, that would've been different.

So come let’s stop being exceptionally critical and raise a toast to the warm feeling that Barfi lit, cause a lot of us are far better at pulling out dvd’s of inspiration then at being half as good in putting them together.

I read a beautiful line somewhere which sums up Barfi for me “Silences seldom spoke so eloquently.”

Ek Tha Tiger

With Ek Tha Tiger, Kabir Khan resonates that a director is indeed the captain of the ship and irrespective of the royalty travelling aboard , if you can’t steer, you will sink. I also think Katrina Kaif, henceforth should only work with Kabir, until she can prove her mettle as an actor. I was pleasantly surprised by what Mr. Khan is capable of under a director who may not mind riding along but is very capable of holding sail in a star tsunami.

The story is about Tiger a secret agent with RAW, whose life’s status quo “apne aaage na peeche, na koi upar neeche…rone waala..na koi rone waali…” allows him to be the best dare devil undercover agent the country has ever produced.
Tiger soon gets assigned on a mission to track down Professor Kidwai, who teaches at the Trinity College, London and is suspected of sharing his findings with Pakistan’s Defense establishment. Whether the professor is directly responsible or purely the sacrificial lamb is what needs to be investigated.

After many failed attempts of trying to befriend the professor, Tiger meets Zoya, a student who teaches dance at the university, works part time at the professor’s residence and is the only other living creature besides the professor’s dog, to have access to his private life. Disguised as Manish a writer working on a book called ‘India’s Great Minds’ he finally manages to squeeze a leg in. The series that unravel hereon punch the purr right out of our desi Tiger. Who is the professor? Does Zoya really exist? In a situation, what would Tiger choose, love or to live each day regretting the loss of it in the name of duty? Will ISI and RAW ever see beyond inflated ego’s?

Ek Tha Tiger is predictable, but what I went away with is a nice simple love story, more than the story it was the genuineness of emotions that I connected with. Some scenes where Manish is trying to simply befriend Zoya are plainly simple and sweet. I would have never believed that Salman and Katrina didn’t genuinely care for each other on a personal level and the whole thing was merely an act. The action sequences

throughout the film are very snazzy and realistic. Salman’s introduction shot is one of the most interesting sequences I’ve seen in a while. It’s a slow mo shot of an ashtray flung into mid air, it’s through flying ashes and smoked butts that the Tiger is revealed. The chase that follows is very ‘Bourne’. Totally, whistle worthy! However on the extreme left of the ‘action-o-meter’ is the climax action sequence, where we suddenly realize that the film is really about Salman Khan, so how can he not jump off a speeding bike onto an open jet plane and all this after having taken a bullet! But I forgive it, only because throughout the film otherwise, there are no typical traces of a confused American-British accent, towel between legs jig, tight fitted machismo or any other trait which scream of his cliché fame. Heck, the director has even validated Salman’s reason for being topless, and not for a single frame more than required!

Aseem Mishra’s cinematography gives the film lovely hues, colors, breathtaking landscapes and beautiful sunsets. This is not a Kabul Express or New York, but hats off to Kabir Khan for making Ek Tha Tiger look like a classic as compared to Bodyguard, Ready or even Dabbang! As Tiger’s associate and partner in crime, Ranvir Shorey shares some good camaraderie with Salman (being a good actor always helps).
The music sucks really, so won’t suggest that to be a reason to go watch the film:)

Go...Go...Go...Govinda!

Govinda ala re, ala re, jara matki sambhaal Brijwaala! As a kid I thought Janmashtmi was that simple. It was about mom fasting, eating yummy mithais, watching colorful troupes and lovely temple visits (that’s more than a day’s full for an NRI kid!)
This Janmashtm,i I was treated to a business called Dahi Handi. As I hopped from one troupe to another in the hope of some jaw dropping pictures, what I got instead was a better understanding into why traffic comes to a halt and the fact that I suck at photography at large!

Much to their amusement I requested a group of boys if I could follow them around for a couple of pics. I was immediately hailed to the status of a reporter and people were extremely welcoming (lil’ did they know that my talent would finally be nothing but ‘ctrl alt del’) As a friend and I followed them around, we broke most signals, were offered vodka, a bright yellow Krishna t-shirt, food and an afternoon of excitement.
With only a couple of pictures, thought I’d share my experience instead. Groups start preparing at least 2 months in advance. The day starts off with various tolees (groups) travelling on bikes and tempos visiting mandals (set ups) organized by political parties all over town. During early parts of the day, tolees travel around offering a namaskar, which basically means they do not break the handi yet, but simply showcase their capability of forming a human pyramid. The tip of the pyramid stands, folds his hands and pays homage to the handi ( symbolic to paying a tribute to Krishna himself) . For each of these namaskars the tolee receives a token amount as cash. The pyramid then crumbles down within seconds and zips off to the next mandal.

To be eligible to break a handi, is another process, and only one tolee qualifies per mandal. So for e.g. the mandal may decide to hang their handi at a particular height and a 7 layer pyramid is required to reach it. The first tolee that manages to form this 7 layered pyramid at one go, qualifies and books the handi. The qualified tolee may then move onto other mandals, either to do a namaskar or claim another handi and return for breaking the big booty at the time assigned by the earlier mandal. Even with the handi booked, the mandal could still be open for other tolees to swing by and offer a namaskar - the cash prize depends on the category still open for namaskars - four layered/ five layered pyramid etc. Apart from these larger institutes there are many smaller set ups which work on a ‘first come- first break basis.’

The interesting but logical bit about the human pyramid is that the youngest and the frailest find themselves on the top. So the handi is actually broken by a little kanhaiya! Looking at the height which these little boys climb too, I almost had my heart in my mouth, but after watching a few pyramids topple I learnt that it is the lower layers that usually get injured. Guys forming the middle part of the pyramid have ropes tightly secured around their shoulder blades. This helps provide a grip for those froming the top layer incase they come tumbling down. The little kid who breaks the handi secures himself with a helmet and tight ropes around his shoulder, just incase he starts falling the others can grab him by his safety device.

The award for breaking handi’s ranges anywhere from Rs. 20,000 to Lakhs. If that doesn’t get you dancing the mood and the peppy numbers being dished out on the loudspeakers surely will. My shoulders, feet and hands rebelled as many a times I had to stop them from joining in with the chorus. Maybe next year yo!

31st of July

Fears are like demons lurking in your shadow. If the light of belief in you shifts slightly they become one with you or ahead of you. I’ve been dreading 31st July for a while now. Last year on this date the flat underneath mine had capsized in flames and as the entire building watched in panic from the street across, my family and I slept. When I smelt gas the first time I dreamt that I was at a wedding standing next to a halwai inhaling fumes from cooking delicious gourmets, the screaming of people outside in my deep slumber was substituted for wedding chitter chatter, only when I heard whistles I thought to myself 'what a strange wedding it is!' The whistles grew louder and as the chitter chatter turned to screams I started suffocating on the fumes from flames that had almost engulfed my flat as well. Of course the rest is too painful and traumatic to be repeated. But a year later I still live in that fear. A fear that a fire will break out, fear of getting trapped again, the fear that I probably lived to write again was only because of somebody else’s presence of mind.
Today I’m going to sit all alone, in a room fully lit, will create no room for a shadow, no place to hide. Face to face with my demon. I’ll eat, I’ll sleep, I’ll dream and wake up tomorrow. Tomorrow I would have fought the demon of the 31st of July and with that the fear of being alone when that night arrives.

Bullet Baba Temple

Deity: 350 cc Royal Enfield Bullet, Offering: Clamor of horns, libation: beer, bullet brand

For a large part of the conversation I thought it was a joke and I was playing along. One snide comment gave me away and then what followed were a series of Google look ups.

So it’s true, the Bullet Baba mandir exists!! Rewinding back, one fate full summer night in 1991, Om Banna, as he was fondly called was riding stone drunk on his bullet and hit a tree. The police recovered his body from a 20 feet gorge and seized the bullet during the period of post mortem. However the next morning they found the 350 cc missing, and were shocked to find it parked at the place of the accident. Attributing the incident to a prank, this time they removed the petrol from the bike and placed it under chains, only for it to return to the accident spot again the following night!

Out of fear, they handed over the bike to Banna's relatives, who swore, after the fateful incident they would hear (and some still do) the Royal Enfield rev up at night . They sold the same to a person from Gujarat. But mysteriously the bike returned to the accident spot covering a distance of 400 km. The person who bought it also abandoned it. As such instances kept recurring, the Enfield was left on the fateful spot and it is here on the National Highway No.65 – between Jodhpur and Bali that the “Bullet Baba Temple” was established.

In a separate incident a driver met with an accident in the same spot and said the “dead” Rathore rescued him. The news spread like wild fire and from then on “Bullet Baba” has become a popular deity in the area with Poojas, Bhajans and worships. Today the temple has it’s own priest, who’ll enlighten you on the birth of this legend. Like any temple this too offers prasad, but interestingly in the form of humble home brewed liquor. Pilgrims empty out bottles of hooch in honour of Baba after their wishes have been fulfilled. After circling the bullet, the devotees worship the bullet baba by offering beer. The bullet stands in the centre like a Yogi next to a homkund (fire altar) wearing kumkum and sacred ash (bhasmam). Next to it is a photo of Om Banna and an idol made of marble. The temple is built around the dwarf tree which instantly killed Om Banna, the tree apparently has now turned black due to the homkund but stands blossomed with different colored bangles and handkerchief’s offered by devotees.

If you are travelling through the Pali-Jodhpur highway in Rajasthan without worshipping the Bullet Baba, beware, there is no surety that you would reach your destination. Vehicles riding through if unable to stop, blow their horn as an offering instead.

There are booze shops nearby that aid the forgetful pilgrim and a shop offering exclusive Baba merchandise which includes audio/video CDs and colourful posters.
Only India can boast of such marvels. While reading about the Bullet Baba mandir, I also came across a series of other mandirs built which have just left me speechless! Rajnikanth Mandir (super hero of the south), Mahatma Gandhi mandir, Khushboo mandir (tamil actress), Namitha mandir (kollywood actress), Mayawati mandir, Amitabh Bachachan mandir, Pooja Umashankar mandir, Maruthur Gopalan Ramachandran mandir.
Only in India we believe God is greater than his creation but will also deify the two on the same stature.

Temple at: Nathamedu near Thirunindravoor, Chennai. Built for Maruthur Gopalan Ramachandran, film actor, director and politician who also served as the CM of TN

Cocktail that's actually a Mocktail

Cocktail written by Imitiaz Ali and Sajid Ali may not be strong enough if you’re looking for a high or to taste something new, but it sure is something you’ll enjoy in small doses. Directed by Homi Adijania the story is about three friends Veronica, Meera and Gautam.

Meera, played by Diana Penty, lands up in London to look up a husband that married her and disappeared.
At the airport she bumps into Gautam Kapoor (Saif) who when spanked by the nurse at birth, probably thought this is what life’s about. He tries to flirt with Meera who cuts him off by playing the married card, only later to realize that the husband doesn’t want her. while drowning herself in a drugstore restroom, she bumps into Veronica.

Veronica (Deepika Padukone), is a typical ‘ I have all this money in the world but I still can’t buy love’. Veronica decides to help Meera out and takes her home. In a bizarre event Veronica & Meera bump into Gautam, Veronica ends up sleeping with him and now the three start sharing room space and life. While Veronica & Gautam are very clear on being ‘friends with benefits’ he ends up falling for Meera. The film there on is a cocktail of friendship, anger, love, jealousy, caring and a cliche end.

A lot of people obviously didn’t see any of that and trashed the film for being regressive. I would have to agree with them if they said the characters were not well sketched out or the film had clichés, or I’d expected much better, but wouldn’t agree with it being regressive.Now here in the film have they portrayed or referred to Veronica as slutty, so what’s the back lash for? When Gautam ‘s mother suddenly lands up, he introduces Meera as his girlfriend only cause at that point Veronica was neither sober, nor appropriately clothed, seeing her son in hot pants and lipstick the mother was in ‘freak mode - gear three’ already.

Veronica wanting to wear a salwar kameez to get accepted by the mother – people said was regressive. Please note mother accepted Meera in a pair of shorts, so it was only Veronica’s insecurity thinking ‘maybe this is why mom likes Meera’ . When she’s drunk in the club and says she’ll cook for him, she’ll do anything – regression would’ve been Gautam or his mother’s character expecting that, but the scene purely showed the state of a girl who thinks she’s perfect otherwise and the only reason acceptance is eluding her is this. I envy my friends who run homes. Every man expects that, besides having a life of her own, his wife will also make his home. Someone once learnt how to make butter chicken for me, cause I couldn’t find the perfect one anywhere. I’d do the same for him. I think it’s romantic not regressive.

Gautam was very clear he wasn’t in love with Veronica, being ‘in a no strings attached’ relationship does not mean you can never fall in love with someone else – with her roomie, ok so twist of fate. Yes, Meera and Gautam kissed, they shouldn’t have. But they were honest and when Meera realized what Veronica truly felt, she left, without making Veronica look bad - so there was a lot of confused emotions but no backstabbing.

There are some scenes that make no sense in the movie but those you’ll easily figure out anyway. Besides that some beautiful moments and amazing camera work in the film. My favorite is the one which defines Veronica’s frame of mind (when she realizes she’s in love with Gautam) packed club, surrounded by people but still alone – for the director and DP to communicate a non tangible, wow!

Performance wise, the director has not let anyone overplay or underplay their characters. Saif does go a bit over the top but only when he’s playing the carefree Gautam kapoor, I like his switch post interval. Deepika I think is awesome in all the scenes where she portrays, I think I’m ok, no wait- I’m not ok, oh shit I’m too cool to not be ok, fuck off I’m not ok and I’m gonna be like this. I really think directors should start using her more than just a pretty pair of legs to pan up from. Diana Penty held her own , in no scene was her body language insecure screaming look at me! Look fwd to seeing you the next time Diana.

The recipe for Saif’s Cocktail may not have gone down well with people but he’s definitely hit the nail with his choice of music. Irshad kamil whose lyrics created magic in ‘Aaaj Din Chadiya’ , does it again with ‘Jag mujhpe lagaye pabandi, main hun hi nahin is duniya ki’. The album has truly lived up to its title as it brings together a cocktail of contemporary, Sufi, classic, Punjabi. While Pritam’s 'Tum hi ho Bandhu’ is a bit trippy, 'Yaariyaan' is very soulful with an electronic touch to it. The borrowed famous Sufi track 'Jugni' has been used well as background score. 'Daaru Desi' is a nice contemporary number about friendship. Yo Yo Honey Singaaaa’s 'Angreji Beat' is an awesome Punjabi number. So yeah this album scores very high on my ‘loopometre’

Mukhtasar - Official Song - Teri Meri Kahaani (Exclusive)

Is it just me or is Priyanka Chopra running out of expressions? After watching this video I swapped channels, saw a song from Anjaana Anjaani then Gun Guna Re from Agneepath. It’s like she’s only changed costumes and one video can easily be mistaken for the other. The bitting of lips, raising eyebrow, frowning then jumping around like a bunny on dope, tucking chin in, pushing shoulders out smiling again, biting of lips, raising eyebrow, frowning……she’s on loop man! Where did Meghna of Fashion get lost after promising potential?
And Shahid Kapoor - watch the first line “oh no! humare beech who nahin hona chahiye…..” and if I was to ask you to guess which film it could it be, except Jab We Met as an option I know I’d get a list.
Bad acting is forgivable but being repetitive? C’mmon Mr. Director you know they can do better.

Ishaqzaade

From creating Hammbaarrr and Nikhil Adoda to Jhoom Barabar Jhoom. From creating Shruti Kakkad and Bittu Sharma to creating Dimpy and her 9 awards. From creating Do Dooni Chaar to now creating Parma and Zoya – Habib Faisal presents Ishaqzaade, a saga echoed by unlucky thousands.

Set against a political background and religious tempers, the story is a potpourri of emotions. In a small town called Almore, it is the love story of two Ishaqzaades- Parma Chauhan (Arjun Kapoor) and Zoya Qureshi (Parineeti Chopra ). It’s about dreams and aspirations, family, how mentality declares boundaries even before geography can and how a simple unsuspecting action like falling in love, can change the course of life.

Zoya Qureshi is not your regular small town girl. She aspires to become an MLA just like her father. Drives a jeep, is well educated, has a mind of her own and does not twitch at gun point.
Parma Chauhan on the other hand, is a crass mouthed, gun in crotch, hot blooded young stem who does what and whoever he pleases.
So when they meet, sparks are bound to fly, but who burns and who simmers? When flames grow and love rebels, somewhere a world burns.

Various entities of this film deserve a pat on their big proud shoulders:

Arjun Kapoor for essaying Parma with honesty. Being Boney Kapoor’s son and a Salman Bhai fan I could easily see him sliding on his two flat feet, amongst the Swiss Alps singing “hey hey…ahh haaa…” (being a YRF production and all) but instead he shares his big introduction scene with two other artists, no drum rolls, no fan blowing hair, or walk in 48 frames, he looks every bit of a non hero.
In fact a very common joke on set was anything that ever looked good on Arjun or for a fleeting second gave you the impression ‘hero’ was immediately disapproved by Habib Faisal. “If you want to become a hero, you’ve signed up for the wrong film” is what he maintained throughout. Ishaqzaade is clearly not a feel good product from Yash Raj.
But after watching the film I think Arjun did get his way. As Parma’s character develops with the flowing screenplay, the audience too will not be able to hold back as he transforms from an uncouth animal to a conscientious lover.
I see myself joining the ‘oh my gosh I wanna marry him’ brigade a few times during the film. Parma’s intense declaration of love for Zoya at the brothel has my head bobbing to the motion of his dialogue as he states “Main tujhe itta pyaar karunga, itta pyaar karunga, itta pyaar karunga, bahut pyaar karunga…” Zoya finally melts and so did I. The second time that happened to me was in the climax, when he talked about ‘chotti Zoya & chotta Parma’ it’s not the dialogue as much as it is the honest to god heartfelt delivery.

While Parma’s character develops from shades of black to grey, Zoya is consistent. She bears the flag of a woman not afraid to love or express it. Habib Faisal years ago in a serial he’d directed had the girl protagonist light the pyre of her father (Lavanya). Back in those days that was radical. With Zoya, he still is. So what makes her a typical bhartiya naari but not so much? She fights like a man but still seeks her father’s approval on marriage, she’ll kiss passionately but without an ounce of coyness draws the line for ‘shaadi ke baad’. Feels the hurt when wronged without playing victim. Many felt that Zoya’s spark was doused as her character transformed into a typical Indian woman who bears the brunt of all evil but still forgives. I’d beg for people to see the difference, she makes a choice to kill, she makes a choice to forgive, and in her own time. I think Zoya depicts the inner fire of an average Indian girl, only the average girl fears to ignite it.

One of my favorite scenes in the movie is in the Chemistry Lab. Amidst life threatening action, they take refuge in the college lab, but once the door shuts and the dialogues unfold I was left mesmerized by the simplicity and naivety of the two characters. As I soaked in the moment, I forgot what was happening five minutes ago. A moment where all you see are two young people with innocent dreams, desires, ambitions - as simple as winning a gold medal in the third academic year. How inconsequential things like a lab, the smell of chemicals can make all your worries disappear even if for a minute. How many times do we have that moment when a small something transports us into lala land? Rare. We’ve forgotten how to scrape through layers of bullshit and truly just live the moment.

An important thing I learnt on this journey was that a film is redirected on the edit table. This time its far more difficult because you have only so much to play with! Aarti Bajaj has been the saving grace behind many scenes that had potential of being nominated for ‘cringe worthy’.

Ok the music, Amit Trivedi. That’s all I have to say. Aafton ke Parindey has a rocker feeler, while Jhalla has a very seventies feel to it. Watching Arjun battle Gauahar in Chokra Jawan makes the video a treat. Zoya's unrest as she falls for an infidel is essayed as a rock ballad in Pareshaan but my favouratist is the title track Ishaqzaade, Kausar Munir ke lyrics se pyaar na hojaye to bolna! Ranjeet Barot’s background score is interestingly different. Too bad it’s not included in the soundtrack DVD.

Saving the best for last is Mr. Hemant Chaturvedi. Ishaqzaade would not have been this beautiful if it wasn’t for this DOP’s aesthetic sense of lighting, Some scenes are so beautifully silhouetted that the light pouring in becomes the main attraction of the scene. It’s unbelievable how he waves his magic wand to make sunlight dance for him. Watch out for the warehouse scene and the love making scene, it’s all real and natural.

Habib Faisal is amongst the rare species of ‘real writers’ and even though commercial success means a thing or two, his basic motto is all about staying true.

Bidhan Samasya.

21-year-old Guwahati resident Bidhan Barua finally won a long battle. His was not a battle against a life threatening disease or racial prejudice, but a battle to affirm his fundamental human rights. A battle against his parents who could not understand how their 21 year old son Bidhan wanted to become Swati. Sex change is still something that our society does not largely identify with forget accepting even with a fight.

Bidhan won the case against his parents when his lawyer had told the High Court earlier that “the parents of the petitioner had got his bank account frozen and were infringing upon his fundamental rights” His parents even threatened to file suit against all the doctors of the hospital who’d be accomplice to Bidhan bringing lady luck. Suddenly Bidhan’s parents have become the wolf in the Red Riding Hood story because they are infringing on his fundamental rights? What would be interesting to know is does our government also have laws against the so called moral brigades like the Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena or Ram Sena of our country when they infringe on our rights of visiting a pub (Mangalore) or celebrating Valentine’s Day (bombay) or work overtime in order to stop people from expressing love or simply denying their rights of sitting together (Meerut). “He is an adult and can take care of his own decisions” – High Court Mumbai. Why does this right of making adult decisions not apply to choosing to be gay, same sex marriages or being in possession of cannabis considering it’s grown in large parts of the country!

Bidhan says that he realised early in life that he was born in the wrong sex and preferred to dress like girls. This angered his parents who ill-treated him and beat him up, he alleged. The 21-year-old said it was in standard 7th that he learnt through the Internet that medical science could provide a remedy to his problem through a sex change procedure and he decided to go for it. Today’s e- generation knows much more than we can even provide solutions for. My 8 year old nephew asked me what’s the difference between ghosts and spirits? His is a much smaller concern than Bidhan’s and yes while I’m grateful to technology for providing support to those needy, I’m also weary of being unable to protect my child’s innocence, he’d know about ‘the birds and the bees’ even before spring sets in!

Bidhan is in love with and wants to marry a lieutenant in the Indian Airforce. Why is the airforce pilot anonymous in Bidhans struggle? Many times in the past too, I’ve tried understanding (Post-June 17 2009-Happy, Gay or Not)that if a man’s sexual preference is t be with another man than why would he want his man to become a woman? Will he only be able to give his relationship the respect it deserves if Bidhan turns into a woman? Will he be able to hold his head proud if they get snickered at even after Bidhans surgery? Is this all about the pilot living a perceivably acceptable existence in the society? I’m just inquisitive not judgmental. I’m all for whatever brings one happiness and I hope the likes of Bidhan never for one second until this universe revolves ever have to regret their decision.

Bobby Darling quoted that it’s a one month process where they council you at least three times a week on your impending decision. According to new order from the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal in TORONTO — A man doesn't need to have his penis removed to legally become a woman. Another interesting excerpts from a transgender Ramona’s story “For maintenance, I take hormone pills for the hair and skin; for the organ, I was advised to have regular intercourse, and of course, douching, because it is important to stretch it every so often. Right after my operation, I had a glass object left temporarily inside for the wound to retain the shape of the canal. My doctor advised me, however, to get a boyfriend, and I did. Yes, I do have a clitoris. I also experience the same sexual joys women have.”

My favourite line from her sex change story – “No labor pains and no red flag days. It’s a perfect world”
Ramona you are most women’s envy baby!

Come Be My Toy Friend

'Robot sex set to change rules of the mating game’ - Two new scientists are exploring the plausibility of sex for hire robots for ‘guilt and disease free pleasure.’ Disease free maybe but guilt free I disagree with. So am I to feel better because my partner starts spending more nights out for a no strings attached rendezvous with a robot? Would I feel absolutely comfortable in the skin of it? Maybe as an alternative to the vibrator or the need to be with someone who’d be non – judgmental about my ‘between the sheets’ appearance. I’d presume there’d be varied reasons for guilt with a prostitute, but just because the robot is not technically another human being does that account for not cheating? If studies out there show that sex-ting or getting emotionally involved with a third person is also considered cheating, then why wouldn’t making love to a robot be? Which makes me think does using other appliances for pleasure also fall under the same category then? I don’t know. The sale of sex dolls may prove that things are being spruced up in metro bedrooms of today, but not in mine for sure. Will I be overreacting if I took it personally, that my partner enjoys feeling up a rubber doll or does not mind the lack of physical emotions with a robot instead? Are men ok if their wife suddenly turns over to change the batteries of her vibrator? Whatever happened to physical intimacy? Whatever happened to the feeling of a touch? Yes, not everybody likes to linger in the comfort of a warm snuggle or other emotional complexities that come with the idea of ‘making love’ but whatever happened to the pleasures of response? Does the act of foreplay, meeting of the eyes, a glance lingering for too long, a smile, not release butterflies in our lives anymore? It’s sad enough that bb, skype etc has reduced emotions like distance, now if people start having sex with robots then the concept of relationships may change by 2050 for sure.

The Bubble Called Life

Many times I’ve watched as bubbles gently free themselves from the blower, corner to corner, take shape and drift off into the horizon. As they gently float away, blurring visions I’ve always wondered, what would it be like to sit in one of these and float away till reality, all starts appearing miniscule. Till we can’t see things in perspective anymore, for what they really are and believe them to be only what we want them to be. I was reading Esha Deol’s blissful interview, who claimed how being engaged to a wonderful man has changed her life. That part was believable, agreed- love does make your world go upside down, spins you around and lets go so fast that you don’t know what bloody hit you and then….ok..ok coming back to the interview - yes, the part that made me visualize the view from inside her bubble was when she said …”I’d forgotten what it was like to be normal, to get out of the car, walk the street, go to a movie, because I’m an actress. He lets me be normal again” Esha baby! The neon sign ‘Out of business’ has been up on your window for eons now, all you had to do was take off your glares and see! If the series of flops, one home production since Ice Age part 1, Zayed Khan as the only link up, mom only talking about how much weight her baby has lost! - didn’t let you walk on the street and be normal et all then I think marrying a ‘business man’ will be another feather in the cap lifting your bubble only higher! I’m glad you’ve taken a break from you movies and are planning the wedding yourself. I’m glad it’s going to be one big dancing fest because you love to dance and oh how creative you are! Yup, we’re all just glad for you. It is difficult to see things for what they are, no matter how painful they are, I guess, but one day when your bubble brushes against someone’s rough hair because they don’t use Sunsilk or someone’s skin which is not soft enough cause they don’t use Veet hair removal, what happens? You land in their lap with a thud! (can get kinda awkward!) We can all be like that sometimes, I’d like to float away only to return in the darkness of my bed side lamp, where the world is what I see through my soft larger than life bubble. But when I return, I usually have friends waiting with the sparkling tip of a refined needle, a lap and lots of love to soften the thud. So no matter where your bubble takes you, it’s important to not get blown away.

Moving on....

I could never really understand what the term ‘move on’ means. What does it mean? It’s not like you can physically pick yourself up from one block of the checker board and move 2.5 steps diagonally. So how does one move on virtually? How do you stop wanting to feel a certain way and want to feel another? How do you detach yourself from life and all those emotions attached for the past time frame and ‘move on’ to wanting to feel something that may not even exist?! For some it’s easy. Physical tangibles make it easy, you get a new house, you get a new mate, a new bike maybe and you’ve moved on. But on to what? Or from what? Is there really a formula for dissolving the umbilical cord or do have you to dress better to hide it? If certain feelings can change overnight then how strong were those feelings in the first place? If they weren’t strong than what were you feeling? They say some things hurt for too long, but then you get over it. Or is it that you learn to live with the pain? Or the pain numbs you so much that it no longer pains? Even a slight unexpected detour on a long planned road trip throws you off, then how does one without a map or GPRS get life back on track? Life is not a car, a game of chess, or a movie. It comes without a pause or rewind button. Then how do you plan a move on?

Agent Vinod

The thing about watching a movie a few days after its release is, you know what you’re heading towards. So when I took my seat to watch Agent Vinod, even though I wasn’t really expecting novelty, there were moments which left me entertained.

Agent Vinod is a slick three hour roller coaster ride spanning over 11 countries. The story is very simple- One Secret Agent – One mission - to locate and dislodge a bomb so toxic that it could lead to genetic mutation for generations to come.

As the bomb’s fate travels from country to country Agent Vinod takes us along from Afghanistan to Moscow to Russia to Latvia to Somalia to Morocco to Pakistan to ‘I lost track’ to India – its final destination. The story though pretty simple, most time’s has more being crammed in then required. I may not give it points for brain stimulation but I wouldn’t mind giving it points for its slickness and editing. The use of different camera filters and varied background score (an obvious and smart thing to do) lends an interesting flavor to the story which makes one connect to the country on display.

Mr. Agent for his part is looking very smart and absolutely believable as Vinod…Khanna, Amar, Akbar Anthony, Freddy Khambatta or whtever it is that he moods to disguise himself as. The action directed by Peter Heins many times goes from heart in mouth to overboard, but has added the much needed risqué touch to a story which otherwise may have sagged at many ends. Sriram Raghavan as a director needs no introduction. His direction has the same flavor as that of ‘Ek Haseena Thi’ and ‘Jhonny Gaddar’ but one can easily tell that with Agent Vinod, the meal spread just went lavish! The seasoning, a culmination of a big production house, a big director, a big star couple, somewhere, I felt, overpowered the essence called Sriram Raghavan.

Kareena Kapoor, as many feel, has already given her lifetime performance with Jab We Met. Nothing before and after may have been as worthy as raising an eyebrow. Yes, she looks lovely. Yes, their off screen drama makes them appealing onscreen, But if there’s anyone who can give Hrithik Roshan sleepless nights over auditioning for James Bond, I honestly think it would be Chotte Nawab ( I never thought I’d be able to place Hrithik and ANY other actor in the same sentence!)

Apart from the background score, the album itself is quiet interesting. Pritam’s ‘Pyaar ki Pungi’ I think has cracked what ‘twist’ couldn’t put a figure on. Saif ali khan is NOT A DANCER, and yet his hand and feet coordination in this song - so cute that heck! any Babloo, Chaploo or even Pappu can dance saala! It took me a while to accept Saif Pungi bajaoing, but I think he IS what makes it in the first place anyway. 'I’ll do the talking' had me distracted, and this time it wasn’t Saif! 'Dil mera muft ka' claims to be a techno mujra with no grace in the melody or Kareena’s moves. Raabta’s choreography has strong likeness to khoya khoya chand but it’s nice anywho.

So go watch Agent Vinod, Sriram’s contribution to India’s Bourne and Bond, with an unsullied espionage genre phully Hollywood ishtyle!

Kahaani

Kahaani. Have a story and will tell. One film that breaks all norms of budgets, big star casts, foreign locals, unreal sets, designer costumes, and every other cliché that could be associated with film making.

Vidya (Vidya Balan) and her husband Arnab Bagchi are software engineers settled in London. Her husband moves to Kolkatta on an assigned project. Vidya realizes something is amiss when two weeks pass and Arnab, an otherwise conscientious husband has not gotten in touch. There starts the Kahaani of a 7 month pregnant woman her journey in a city known for its literary, artistic and revolutionary heritage, but most importantly - a missing husband.

Straight out of the airport she heads to the police station to file a missing complaint. Inspector Satyoki Rana (Parambrata Chattopadhyay) offers to drive a very tired and pregnant Vidya, to her hotel, Mona Lisa, the same place Arnab stayed at before he went missing. Once there, Rana and Vidya are both perplexed as to why an NRI like Arnab would choose a run down guest house, or the fact that there are no records of a guest named Arnab Bagchi ever having stayed there.
Vidya slowly begins to realize finding her husband will not be an easy task - how do you find someone who the city claims does not exist?

Rana decides to help Vidya out of compassion and together they set out to find- National Data Centre (NDC) the place Arnab was assigned his project at, has no employee records in his name. The school he told Vidya stories about, the neighbourhood he grew up in, has no recollection of a family named Bagchi. There are no flight records of Arnab Bagchi having left London, or landing in Kolkatta on the dates specified.The only lead that may look like a candle of hope is that Arnab’s face resembles an ex- employee of NDC - Milan Damji – who too, by now, has no evidence of existence. Vidya's candle in the wind keeps getting spat over by The Deputy Chief of Intelligence Bureau, Khan, who keeps aggressively ‘suggesting in good faith’ that Vidya should give up searching for her missing husband and forget the name Milan Damji. Every time Vidya and Rana come close to hope, it ends up in the shape of a dead body. As mystery embroils further, Vidya is convinced that things are not what they appear to be, there is a deep connection between Arnab resembling Milan and both men missing. Thoughts of maybe he just deserted her or almost getting pushed in front of a speeding train only strengthens her belief that she’s closing in on finding the truth. A truth nobody wants her to know.

As the story progressed every inch of my muscle got deeply involved in this Kahaani, the anguish of a 7 month pregnant woman, her vulnerability of maybe never finding an answer for her unborn child - whatever did happen to his father? Sujoy Ghosh’s narrative magic and the cinematography for me, was like an out of body experience. I felt it was me in Kolkatta’s body - it’s furious creative energy, it’s streets and by-lanes, the tram rides, the landmark Durga Puja, the graffiti of colors, all of this made Vidya Bagchi’s nightmare alive!

Not for one minute in the two hours of watching the film did I ever sit back distracted, my usual ‘all knowledgeable of movie plots’ self sat puzzled, un-puzzling, all through the popcorn break. Sujoy’s direction, Vidya’s flawless acting (Vidya being Vidya), Rana’s earnestness, L Hamre’s story took away my custom ending to most movie outings, I did not get to smack my hands in pride while exclaiming “aahhh!! Knew it! See rubbish!”

There was however one scene, where in , Vidya breaks down at the thought of life without her husband and child, which I thought did not add anything to the story and its purpose was to largely play to the gallery, but we’ll let that go, cause by then Sujoy and team have already accomplished what they’d set out for.

The music of Kahaani reflects the soul of Kolkotta, switching from being enigmatic, to dark, from being soulful to lingering. It may not fetch a spot in being a collector’s item but the two tracks Shotti bolchi and Ekla chalo re have great potential. Ekla Chalo Re, is originally a Bengali patriotic song written by Rabindranath Tagore in 1905 and has been beautifully rendered in the film by Amitabh Bachchan. This is what it means:

Jodi tor đak shune keu na ashe tôbe êkla chôlo re,
Êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo re.
Jodi keu kôtha na kôe, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi shôbai thake mukh firaee shôbai kôre bhôe—
Tôbe pôran khule
O tui mukh fuţe tor moner kôtha êkla bôlo re.
Jodi shôbai fire jae, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi gôhon pôthe jabar kale keu fire na chae—
Tôbe pôther kãţa
O tui rôktomakha chôrontôle êkla dôlo re.
Jodi alo na dhôre, ore ore o ôbhaga,
Jodi jhôŗ-badole ãdhar rate duar dêe ghôre—
Tôbe bojranôle
Apon buker pãjor jalie nie êkla jôlo re.

Translation into English by Rabindranath Tagore himself

If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.
If they turn away, and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou unlucky one,
trample the thorns under thy tread,
and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou unlucky one,
with the thunder flame of pain ignite thy own heart
and let it burn alone.

The Bengali language, substitutes the syllable “v” for “b”, by doing so it also predicts the future – make room, for BIG B (Bidya Balan) has arrived!