Item Number: Screams Not Loud Enough, Protests Not Strong Enough!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Screams Not Loud Enough, Protests Not Strong Enough!

So one of us is the ‘victim’ again. What the hell is your fascination with gang rapes, as if a lifetime of mental torture engraved by one evil soul is not bad enough, you guys are out there by the couples!

What is it, a bloody bonding activity, things that you discuss while scratching your crotch on an un showered day, lying in a 6x6 camp? Who the fuck are you to just swagger out one day and dim my sunlight forever?!!

So it doesn’t happen everyday and we must all stay calm and cautious- FOREVER. Which basically means never step on the other side of a double latch door, open the main door only half way, just in case you’re carrying acid.

I’m paranoid. So I’ve been told. I have trusting issues. So I’ve been told.

But could you please carry your ‘NOT A RAPIST’ I-card so that when I look at you I know I can trust you, or not.

Yes manu, I leave your house by 12 whenever I visit cause I hate talking autos alone at night. I also hate the fact that to drop me, somebody else has to also leave or I stay back, till I’m ready to be escorted.

Sharan, if a photo journalist and her friend can get raped at a mill at 5 pm then we got lucky. You, now sitting in the U.S and me writing this blog, in spite of being the only two girls at the Tala Fort. It was a fucking fort, and only the two of us. Groups of men came and went. Thank god.

We were lucky, when we slept at a remote adventure trail, with unlocked doors and a missing wall. Lucky, in spite of being the only two women amidst a group of 5 men, where civilization was a river apart.

Manisha, by being paranoid, I’m not calling upon the negative but I’m just bloody scared, scared every time a second shadow falls too close to mine, scared every time my door bell rings out of turn, scared when I want to pursue photography at maybe not so remote places, even in broad day light.

There are women who do it all the time. You cant live life being scared. But I also don’t want to shrug my shoulders and say ‘cant change destiny, what happened, happened!’ But I’m ashamed to say that is the bloody truth, when we heard about the incident last evening, a group of us were out celebrating a success. One of us left to cover the story and the rest of us continued reveling in a celebrity’s shadow. We did discuss it for 10 mins, exchanged expletives, shrugged our shoulders, nodded our heads in disgust, pondered …for 10 mins.

I may be paranoid but don’t you underestimate their power. They are out there, and I hope we never meet them. But there’s no harm in being careful my love.

They will continue to be out there, as easily as they terrorize, they forget that day ever existed. Sometimes at the cost of not being caught, repentance takes the place of fantasizing about reliving their manhood.

We will continue to be out here, doing candle marches, writing blogs, commenting on face book, going about our daily lives trying to forget that day ever existed. Sometimes at the cost of bringing justice, reliving the day for months and years to come.

At the risk of sounding like a flag bearer, I request every woman out there who has ever known of her husband, boyfriend, son, father or uncle of ever having challenged a woman’s modesty, to do something about it, not sit quiet, cause tomorrow it could be your sister, mother, aunt, you.

ENOUGH!

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AnonymousAugust 23, 2013 at 2:37 PM
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About Me

Ok, so I’m 5ft 9, about 139 pounds, big greenish brown eyes, long curvy lashes, a curvier body, soft curly hair and an electrifying smile. This impression exists in my head…and now in yours.

It’s not because what I look like makes me uneasy, but this is the number that I’d like to turn up in, someday.

Hence, the ‘Item Number’. A lot many maybe familiar with the term and all that it implies but for the ignorant read on…

I’ve always associated myself with the term ‘Item Number’ which however until recently was a phrase loosely used in Bollywood to describe a filler, a foreplay before the formidable act, a thesaurus for sleazy dance, an excuse for skin show (not always attractive).

All that is now the past. With cinemas growing sensibilities, the stigma attached to the phrase no longer exists and in fact, is now glorified by a list of A grade celebrities gracing the screen with their special performance, adding glam value to an otherwise submissive script.

However in spite of the recent but growing respect, the meaning of the phrase ‘Item Number’ has never changed for me. An item number is an exhibit out of the ordinary plot line, sometimes provocative yet necessary, it sometimes lends itself to the situation but other times it’s forced. It’s long enough to make you smile, but short enough leaving you longing for more. Sometimes special. Sometimes over the top. But never subtle.

I believe, if we search deep inside, we all yearn to be an item number (yes even you!)

It’s the longing to be special. To be provocative. To be able to tease ones boundaries. To be different. To be the one. To make people sit up and notice.

If only for an hour, if only for a minute or even a second.

When you hear the crowds cheer (even if it’s just in your head), respond to every appreciative/envious glare with a radiating smile from within, when you know the stars are shinning in this moment, only to make you look brighter, and you almost throw your hands up to the universe miming a big ‘Thank You’ that’s when you know you’re an Item Number.