Faceoff

One thing in common between the recent endeavors of IPL and facebook is that they are both only a façade to hide the real slim shady. The IPL, much has been written about.
Facebook, I feel is a slithering voyeuristic snake wearing the skin of a social networking site. Go on, snigger, but it wasn’t long ago when you I or any other man worth his milk logged onto somebody else’s profile without the mere intent of a simple hello!

One of the things I don’t understand is getting a friend request from people who don’t know you at all. What’s the point then? Do I look like a 20 something interested in engaging hollowness with questions like ‘so what are you into lately?” I’ll tell you what I’m not into is wasting time ignoring requests from people whose daily chores involve being the highest user of the ‘find a friend’ engine. People, who like a blast of methane, reappear from your past, desiring to shake off the ‘once upon a time’ tag, not fully comprehending that loosing touch was a calculated effort and no way am I going to add you now, just cause you have baby pics to share and I’m a bigger person. I’m also not into accepting requests from old flames,age, volume - mass index has never been kind to anyone. I’ve also never approved of the ‘whose looking at your profile’ application. I think it’s a tremendo breach of my privacy. I should have the liberty of checking who-so-ever’s profile from the dark confinements of my room, without worrying if he/she would know. It’s a part of exercising my ‘being an alert citizen’ rite.

Life throws up devious facebook traps every now and then. Bumping into an old college friend is the most common one. The unmistakable first line ‘OMG!, you’ve changed so much” and the unfailing “are you on face book, we must stay in touch?” makes me cringe if not retreat. How worthy you really are to be in my inner circle of love will only be established once I’ve been through all your albums, your friend list and how hot you look impromptu.

Fake accounts – hate them. If you really are Akshay Kumar, then prove your salt by accepting the friend request. Of course by adding a new contact you’re also signing up for a fleet of skeletons that you’d put away along with other things in a box labeled ‘clothes that don’t fit anymore’

Recently an old friend through somebody else’s friend list (see!) got back in touch. Well we had shared some happy moments so I didn’t mind accepting. Once we got beyond “The last time I saw you two, you looked so much in love, so imagine my surprise when HE turned up on my local guardians daughter’s wall as ‘the husband’!” there were other updates. As we chatted through old times I got updated on the lives of all those whose requests I’d secretly ignored. It was nice to know Soumya now has twins, the last memory I have of her was on the upper berth of a train compartment singing the Tamil version of ‘jiya jale’ in Hindi. Meenakhsi who was then doing a Mass Comm course now owns her own fashion label. Last spotted had a luxurious organic face pack on, and was the owner of the most exotic black head removal appliance in the hostel.
Piyali now works for a department store in Bangalore, back then was an inspirational hippy.Tara was asked to leave for smuggling in cigarettes and walking around the hostel in her undies. She’s still pretty much doing the same. Kiran too, was not setting the right example by breaking locks of ‘restricted areas’ and hanging from terrace barricades. Melrose got knocked up but eventually convinced the guy to marry her. Shruti has her picture put up at the local gym I visit sometimes, for being ‘the highest weight looser of the month’!

I’m glad, in spite of our warden being convinced that none of us will be able to face life successfully outside the hostel doors, we’re all doing pretty alright.

What I do like about facebook is that it makes the world seem smaller and not so round.