Strange thing the human is!

As if being born was any less complicated, the complications only proliferate as the animal grows older. No matter how many researches are conducted behind confidential bolted steel doors of the most technologically developed scientific labs ,nothing, and I mean nothing will ever be able to understand, explain or chart out human behavior or the entangled quantum state of the mind. All theories evolved so far are only a thumbnail depiction.

How else do you explain a man whose married 5 times already and now on his death bed, is asking for divorce! Or why a 92 yr old women, whose lived her entire life with one man, given birth together to many children and dreams, watched them grow old together would one day kill her 96 yrd old husband! Could it be for his property or another man?

Why, when your friends fail you feel bad, but when they do exceptionally well, you still feel bad with thoughts of ‘why couldn’t I be there’ creeping up innocuously? Why would you forget those who taught you to take your first steps, held your finger when you tumbled. Why would you want an old age home to cushion their fall?

Why do we stop finding the same jokes funny, we did roll on the floor once. Why do we need space but want to be with the person as well? Why is it ok for me to check somebody else’s phone but have huge privacy encroachment issues when someone screens through mine? I find myself blushing when the hottie next to me compliments me, I ask him to stop but really don’t want him to. What I really want to do is kill that pervert whose been admiring me for the longest time and if that geek ever compliments me …..whatevah!

I’m perfectly compatible with you, love spending time with you, look fwd to hearing how your day was, will make ensure that I halve your pain by sharing it, but I don’t want to complicate things. I’m not in love with you! I don’t agree with your opinions, fight all the time, maybe don’t even score very well on the ‘how well do you know your spouse’ quiz, but here I am! Talking about not complicating things…

A large number of straight women admire, check out, even ogle at other women. But a man very rarely would aspire to have another man’s butt. It’s not ok for one man to violate another man’s personal space by making a hug last for a second longer than it’s supposed to or hold hands. But women can make hugs last forever like it’s going out of fashion. Can even squeeze sometimes depending on the hormonal levels. And the world will label that as O.K.

It’s ok for two women to talk about their babies for hours but people find it strange them discussing their puppies for hours or even if one brings up puppy tales, while other mothers are discussing diaper changes. A baby is a baby is a puppy!

We work towards getting to know a person completely. If one actually ever gets to know or truly understands a person, then there will never be room for surprises, because every move will be preempted. Maybe the world will be a better place then. Yawn!

Go figure! No. Try figure.

In The Name of Entertainment!

The saans and bahu today belong to the bold and the beautiful generation. And voyeurism in the name of TRP’s is dictating new boundaries.

The last two seasons of Swayamvar cant be a better support to my statement above. When the first season was aired, I was guilty along with the rest of India in helping cultivate an obnoxious elevation of entertainment. But in my defense - only because the protagonist was Rakhi Sawant! The best contestant put together at any laughter challenge don’t stand a chance in her wind. Also because, my heart didn’t really break for any of the grooms being rejected ,some were 21 earning nothing, some had come with the permission of their wife and three kids, some used the platform to bag roles in serials and other such genuinely funny cases. Call me old fashioned but they were all men, and men survive rejection better, I feel , somehow.

However, Season 2 which promised ‘Rahul dulhaniya le jaega’ was a different ballgame all together. The first and the last episode I watched was the season finale and honestly it rocked my boat! Inspite of the essence of it being just a game, explained to me, the therapy sessions I’ve had to undergo after that have still not helped me comprehend the following:

1. The finalists – three brides. All went through rituals that only a bride must go through & hopefully only once in her lifetime. The mehndi, the alta, the bichua’s being donned, while mom and aunt’s sung folk songs to 'babul ki duan leti jaa..' in the background, hugged and cried – were all those emotions only for a realty show?

2. The parents sounded so excited as they exclaimed their daughter has never looked this beautiful before & watching her, in her bridal attire was like a dream come true– so they’re ok if she loses, cause all she has to do then is, go home, take a hot shower, simply change into her teddy bear night suit, probably have a bowl of soul food and hit the sack! Cause that’s what one would do normally, no?

3. Every girl dreams of her wedding day. Was diluting the dream by winning a contest on international TV more lucrative then the heartache of being reminded that you lost, as you watch the mehndi fade slowly from your palms each day?

4. Every mother dreams of the day when she’ll give her daughter away – did their mothers, while handing them the sindoor tell them “no problem , there’s always next time!”

5. Years later, today, when I watch my wedding video, I’m overcome with laughter, tears, emotions and many memories of things that weren’t even recorded! - Would these ’maybe’ brides to be also have recordings of their performance on NDTV Imagine? Who knows, it might be better than renting DVD’s on the next family picnic or a night-in with popcorn and their future husband?

6. Watching the groom arrive on his horse with the baaraat, a moment every bride steals a glimpse of, was instead welcomed by the families of the three finalists, all standing side by side, reducing the moment to a kinder garden medal giving away ceremony- are u ok thinking that your daughter’s medal will be taken home by the family standing next to you?

I heard one of the brides exclaim” I’m really excited thinking shayaad meri doli aaj uthegi” that’s the first time a bride has used the term ‘maybe’ with such excitement in a context like above.For the first time India must have experienced a bride happily setting foot on her wedding stage and happily going home with only prize money instead, definitely more handsome than the groom!

A woman transforming into a bride for the very first time, only to pack away her costume, unworn, for her next shaadi, or maybe even returning it back to the designer! Hope they atleast clicked pics to share it on shaadi.com for a ‘ this is what I can look like’ feature.

For the first time a father was asked “today is a big day for your daughter, whatever happens the entire India will be watching - how does it feel?” And the proud father responded “ I’m very happy with the way my daughter has conducted herself throughout” – move over Miss Universe for a new pageant has arrived!

For the first time, on being questioned whether she always dreamt of her big day being like this, I heard a bride’s answer - “Yes. The only thing being different is -I’d never imagined that even on my big day, I wont be sure if I will or will not be getting married that evening. I know I’m going to cry, but I don’t know, will the tears be of joy (winning the coveted title of Mrs. Mahajan) or of sorrow” . Well said girl! If she knew this was all for TV, then her vulnerability sure fooled me into believing that before me is a normal girl, sitting in her shaadi ka jooda, actually dreaming of being a bride today, I even believed those tears!

'And they lived happily ever after' is only a concept for the aliens cause what took things a step further was the character assassination of the new Mrs. Mahajan, when media the next day recounted her glory days of being an item girl, what her real name is, carried bytes from one of the not so lucky brides on how uncharacter like it was for her to be bonding with Rahul over alcohol after pack up.

It just makes me think for the sake of entertainment, have we all really forgotten how to be humans?I know the sanctity of getting married is over rated today, but ever wondered why we only played ‘ghar-ghar’ and ‘gudda – guddi’ as kids. Maybe the game should be brought back in the name of entertainment – we’re so ready!

Excuse me while i get back to my therapy...