Raising A Stink!

I don’t know why but my household, along with many other proud Indian lineages insist on dirty talk, initiated with the first physical contact of the taste buds, and carried out till the last satisfying burp!

There is no room for coyness or reservation of space.  For toilet humor only the timing must be right – always while eating!

History proves many have been fascinated by this art, and allow me to shed light on why I call this whistle blowing a form of art.

Sanskrit a language which has demarcated many a boundaries for poetry and wisdom, has an ode to the art

Darrr-am Burrrr-am Bhayam Naasthi

(Loud, sonic-boom farts do not stink)

Koiyyam Kotakasya Madhyaman

(There’s a reasonable amount of stink when the fart is squeaky and forced)

Thissssss-adhghoram Mahadhghoram

(Unbearable attack of stink forces when the fart hisses)

Nishabdham Praana Sankatam

                                                           (The unheard fart is a killer)

In my quest in understanding the deep connection between my culture and farts, I was humbled to discover…it’s just not my culture!

The unusual images from an Edo period between 1603 and 1868, printed on Japanese scrolls, are known as ’He-gassen’, which can only be translated as “fart battle” or “competition”.

In the 90s, a collection of these scrolls were sold for $1,200 at a Christie’s auction. There is very little academic information on Japanese farting battles but researcher Steffen Remvik notes that similar drawings were used to ridicule westerners towards the end of the Edo period in response to increasing intrusion of Europeans.

 

And if you thought only the Europeans, Japanese and Indians were proud of their hot air talent, well…

 11/5/2012 - Great American Farting Contest doubles its prize money to 10K

 "If you are a US citizen there is a possibility of getting your hands on 10K USD in these recession hit times by demonstrating your anal prowess in public... here are the details.

THE GREAT AMERICAN FARTING CONTEST
July 4th, Reno, Nevada

$10,000 Grand Prize to be awarded to America’s Best Farter!

-Contestants able to fart on command must be 21 and American Citizens-

*Must be willing to submit to a body search for hidden devices*

At the contest, you will be judged in 5 categories:


1) Control


2) Duration


3) Multiplicity of Tone


4) Artistic Presentation


5) Stench (measured negatively)"

The most politically incorrect, audience participation show in history!!!

Life after Death

They say you cannot put a price to life. But death – death is allotted INR 2800 in the state of Mirzapur. Sometimes even a smaller but exorbitant amount like INR 50.

The state government of Mirzapur, has a scheme of providing INR 2700 for the cremation of any homeless person in the state. No matter how karma dictated your life, in death one deserves dignity. This obviously is a sentiment not understood by two cops, who are wise enough to know that a penny saved is a penny earned and that, a dead body is nothing but garbage!

Two policemen from a place within the jurisdiction of Kotwali Katra police station in Mirzapur district, were caught throwing a body into Ganga river. The body was brought to the Ganga ghat on a cycle rickshaw. The rickshaw puller was then asked to dump the body into the river, by tying a heavy stone to the legs.

Suraj, who helps the police in throwing the body into the river, says he has so far drowned 10 unclaimed bodies in the same way. "The police station gets Rs. 2,700 every month for cremation of unclaimed bodies, but the amount is not spent on it. They (cops) ask me to throw the bodies, saying they will tackle if anyone raise objection," he revealed.

Instead of last rites being performed, the bodies are being abandoned in the river.

Sanjay, a rickshaw-puller, makes his living by ferrying dead bodies from the mortuary of the local state-run hospital to the ghats along the river banks. He usually gets paid Rs. 500 per. For homeless or unclaimed bodies, he says, he is offered Rs. 50. "I'll give another Rs. 200 to the boatman," he says. "We are doing this on the instructions of the inspector, who asks us to get rid of the bodies."

Their infamous act came to light when the dead began showing up in places they shouldn’t be. When bodies started washing up on the river banks, local reporters stepped in.

I think about them, their soul may have been liberated but their body’s journey still not concluded, as it bobs around lifelessly (that may have not changed in death) I can’t help but think, how bad is bad, for karma to subject you to this? You live each day, wishing it to be your last, abandoned, at the mercy of a few morsels that life throws your way. Then after, even in death, forget dignity there isn’t peace.  Is 'absolution of the dead' literally just a phrase?

As for the cops, the rickshaw puller, the boatman, a discussion on moral ground - whether the money should be spend performing the last right of a departed soul or whether it should be spend fuelling needs of the living - would make for any discussion at all!

Disturbed…